Would you want to be in a relationship with yourself?
Think about it. What kind of person are you in relationships? How do you show up for the person on the other side? Parent, child, boss, employee, friend, customer, neighbor, and on and on. Would you want to be in THAT relationship with YOU??
If you are married- would you be excited to problem solve, raise children with, wake up next to, plan your future with, figure money out, put your trust in and be completely yourself with YOU?
If you are a parent – would you choose someone like you, to be your parent? Do you communicate clearly with your children, speak kindly, set a good example, lay out expectations well and have fun with your kids?
If you are a friend – would you want to be a friend with yourself? What about Best Friends? Do you listen well, show-up on time, think about, laugh, be honest with and have compassion for YOU?
If you have a body (and you do) – would you want to be your body? Do you talk kindly to your body, treat it well and respect what it does for you? Or do you criticize, abuse, over work, under feed/overfeed and loath it for not being some version of acceptable?
Would you want to serve alongside YOU at church or in the community?
You get the point (I hope).
We often spend so much time focused on how everyone else is showing up and behaving on the other end of our relationships, that we stop taking responsibility for being the person WE want to be on our side of the relationship. Instead, we live in reaction to the behavior of others to dictate who we are and how we act. When we focus solely on THEIR behavior, we stop being accountable for our OWN.
No one is perfect, and I don’t believe we need to be perfect to be amazing friends, parents, children, or body-accepters. However, when we are willing to evaluate our own behavior in our relationships with an open mind, we can more clearly define how we want to show up for those people and things we interact with in our life.
Ask yourself the question “would I want to be in this relationship with me?” and listen for the answers you give yourself and why. It is a great way to uncover who you really want to BE in your relationships.